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I am trying to plan my 5 year old's hockey future. He started skating about a year and a half ago and at 4 I put him in some structured skating stuff.

I'd like to plan a strategy that would have him skating for one of the top AAA summer programs when they start making teams for the '04 age group.

For the best hockey development, and to ultimately reach my goal, what coaches, camps, clinics or programs should I make sure he get's into?

The tougher the regimen the better. He'll work harder than an olympian and money is no obect either as his mother and I are filthy rich.

How do I build a Blades/Machine kid?

Follow the same path you did with your 215lb super squirt.

And I have been wondering why people on this forum are always picking on you.

Send me $20K and I will give you the secret handshake that lets you in to the secret society....

I am trying to figure out how to help parents cope if their offspring don't reach the lofty goals set for them.

Tell them to look in the mirror.

Wow...........

HD41
here's is the proven recipe. this is a seven step program, all steps must be followed to the letter.

1. start with his diet. only feed him a diet consisting of protein rich foods, chicken, meat. etc.... take it easy on the potato chips and soda.

2. while he is sleeping buy a projector and dvd player. burn a dvd of all great skaters and hockey stickhandlers. play this while he sleeps. also while you are driving him to the arena for a practice or a game.

3. quit school. it is overrated. he can learn everything he needs to know from step 2.

4. convince him and his mother he had diabetes. this way there will be know questions while you are able to inject him with human growth hormone. he will thank you later. also look into " the clear". follow barry bonds trial closely to see where he made his missteps. a road map of sorts

5. skip friends. they only serve to decrease concentration for the task at hand.

6. ALWAYS remind him that this is fun. this is fun, scream it to him repeatedly. make him repeat often. 150-200 times a day. he will fall in line.

7. last but not least. do not listen the critics. everyone loves to give advice. they DO NOT know what they are talking about. the best judge of your sons ability is you. he is the best. keep saying that over and over. you will come around. so will they. AHAHAHAHAAHH. (evil laugh emphasized).


there is the play book. good luck DO NOT DEVIATE

also a good Chuck Norris mustache would help.

a hockey jacket from a marginally good AAA team


i would say good luck HD41, but following this plan you will not need it.


PS he is already 5. it might be TOO LATE. if he doesnt respond by age 6 give up. make him take figure skating lessons.

move to step 9. plan next child to be born JAN 1st 2012. start working coaches at youth association in anticipation of step 9. say things causally like "boy my sperm can skate" " zygotes in our family love the rink" should be clear sailing, those sons will be playing in the NHL in no time.


go forward and conquer my son.