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A mounted Police Officer was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, 'Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!'

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?

Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered, 'Yes, he sure did!'

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Next year tell Santa
the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.'

Colonoscopy Remarks...
An physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

"Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

"Can you hear me NOW?"

"You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."

"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

"If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

"Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

"You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

"Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

tomASS wrote:"Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

That's beautiful... First they lose Sam Maresh and now this kid. Hopefully they can figure out the problem and get him back in the program.

Obviously the Maresh situation is a unique one, but to lose the 2 biggest "stars" of his very first recruiting class has to be a big kick in the nuggets for Smilin' Timmy B.

Govs93 wrote:That's beautiful... First they lose Sam Maresh and now this kid. Hopefully they can figure out the problem and get him back in the program.

Obviously the Maresh situation is a unique one, but to lose the 2 biggest "stars" of his very first recruiting class has to be a big kick in the nuggets for Smilin' Timmy B.

Is this supposed to be funny? Are you getting senile in your old age Govs and forgetting what topic you are in?

A sugar induced coma from the state fair?? too many sweet martha cookies?

You would think that with the Republicans really coming to MN..I mean it's a Factor that they are!
That just maybe the "bored" Kings might grant us one thread to discuss this historic event I mean.....Just for Fun!
We could keep it civil and not let it Spin out of control...honest!

Well except for tomASS

Whataya say huh ??

Now we know why Elliott has been so quiet lately...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,409761,00.html

Can't Never Tried wrote:You would think that with the Republicans really coming to MN..I mean it's a Factor that they are!
That just maybe the "bored" Kings might grant us one thread to discuss this historic event I mean.....Just for Fun!
We could keep it civil and not let it Spin out of control...honest!

Well except for tomASS

Whataya say huh ??

Come On!
not everyone needs the facts sugar coated. Coffee is best served Black
I'm civil, but I'm not the passive aggressive MN nice type

typically I just get out of control when I am duck hunting - just call me Cheney.

EREmpireStrikesBack wrote:Now we know why Elliott has been so quiet lately...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,409761,00.html

Wonder if the the I Rob & Steal Agency can appeal?

Well, we are the same age

DMom wrote:Well, we are the same age

And my dreams are shattered.

EREmpireStrikesBack wrote:

DMom wrote:Well, we are the same age

And my dreams are shattered.

Yes, I am thinking you could be my son. You can still come to the Halloween party. I think my son's girlfriend may have an older cousin.
Than again, you know I'm about ready to trade him in for two twenty year olds

DMom wrote:

EREmpireStrikesBack wrote:

DMom wrote:Well, we are the same age

And my dreams are shattered.

Yes, I am thinking you could be my son. You can still come to the Halloween party. I think my son's girlfriend may have an older cousin.
Than again, you know I'm about ready to trade him in for two twenty year olds

Well I can fill two needs. What a guy, eh?

EREmpireStrikesBack wrote:

DMom wrote:

EREmpireStrikesBack wrote: And my dreams are shattered.

Yes, I am thinking you could be my son. You can still come to the Halloween party. I think my son's girlfriend may have an older cousin.
Than again, you know I'm about ready to trade him in for two twenty year olds

Well I can fill two needs. What a guy, eh?

The 80-year-old woman is marrying a 30-year-old man. She's told that he'll want to have marital relations, and that it could be fatal.

"If he dies, he dies."

DMom wrote:

EREmpireStrikesBack wrote:

DMom wrote: Yes, I am thinking you could be my son. You can still come to the Halloween party. I think my son's girlfriend may have an older cousin.
Than again, you know I'm about ready to trade him in for two twenty year olds

Well I can fill two needs. What a guy, eh?

The 80-year-old woman is marrying a 30-year-old man. She's told that he'll want to have marital relations, and that it could be fatal.

"If he dies, he dies."

Well like that's not killing all of us
Or did you mean sex!

Can't Never Tried wrote:

DMom wrote:

EREmpireStrikesBack wrote: Well I can fill two needs. What a guy, eh?

The 80-year-old woman is marrying a 30-year-old man. She's told that he'll want to have marital relations, and that it could be fatal.

"If he dies, he dies."

Well like that's not killing all of us
or did you mean sex!

The latter, but I don't talk about those things in mixed company

After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corporate America's recreation preferences.

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is:
Basketball.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is:
Bowling.

3. The sport of choice for front line workers is:
Football.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is:
Baseball.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is:
Tennis.

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is:
Golf.

Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become!

Govs93 wrote:

I think we all needed that laugh.

yes, humor is something we can all agree to

In an effort to keep this thread alive.........

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two
shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have
never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old
lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular
numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the
numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde
stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your mother.'

Can't Never Tried wrote:In an effort to keep this thread alive.........

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two
shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have
never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old
lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular
numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the
numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde
stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your mother.'

For some reason I didn't see that coming Seriously, do you think I could actually get one of those, think of the hockey fundraiser i could have with that.

DMom wrote:

Can't Never Tried wrote:In an effort to keep this thread alive.........

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two
shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have
never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old
lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular
numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the
numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde
stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your mother.'

For some reason I didn't see that coming Seriously, do you think I could actually get one of those, think of the hockey fundraiser i could have with that.

Well participation of the men would increase if ya know what I mean!