Is your son an elite player?

[SnowedIn]

"There is no perfect balance" That's what we're trying to tell you........ ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT!!! Quite telling people they're doing it all wrong when you have no clue of their situation.

I bet you'll read your own book over, and over.

Bo, how would you know all kids are different? Aren't they different but really the same? We know the parents are the same and all have the same agenda if their kids play a sport more than the average kid and the parents encourage and support them to be the best they can be. And we also know that most parents have no clue how to help their kids deal with adversity and failure so that if the inevitable shoe drops, and they don't get that $5M contract 10 years from now, they will be crushed and hate the parents forever. We know that this is a vicious cycle, that everyone whose kid seems to like to play the sport and likes practices and getting better, and not just play fun games, is subject to. Its a box that fits most of us. Stop rocking the boat! It's how it is and that's final!!

As with most good discussions on this board, the value ends when a nerve is struck, and the sarcasm starts. Who is it that you are trying to defend with your posts? If it doesn't happen and these situtaions don't exist, why the sarcastic rebuttal?

Trash, I have been far from sarcastic until the last post. If you read the last series sarcastic and joltying posts, "mostly directed at you", and keep an open mind, you will realize you started this breakdown and ended the value on this thread by continually throwing around generalities and assumptions by painting "most" adults and parents on this board and beyond with the same brush. I think everyone agrees that you have made a good point but you have lost people by using your small statistical sample of one man's experience and pushing the same narrow point implying that it is very unlikely that there is much variation from this point. Kids are different. Parents are different and consider that some out there, maybe many, since we don't know you, may have a much better handle on this subject than you think and maybe more equipped to deal with this subject than you are.

[Napalm187]

This has got to be an all-timer in "bored" history in terms of people getting on the soapbox. I have never seen so much proselytizing, moralizing and egotism. This subject seems to bring out parents who think they know best...not just what's best for their kids...but what's best for every kid that plays hockey. Give it a rest. While somewhat interesting, this topic has jumped the shark a long time ago. We always get two extremes...dipsh*ts stuck in the past, telling how they had it growing up and playing pond hockey and using Northland sticks and blah,blah,blah and on the other end you have people who think they have some moral high ground because their kid doesn't play summer hockey. I enjoy the nuanced views in the middle, but this topic is played out. Trash, take your s*** elsewhere. Find a new topic.

[This is nuts!]

How bout those Twins?

[Napalm187]

There coming...there coming. At least Morneau seems like he's come around. Now...how about the guy were paying $23 mil a year to hit like a poor man's Wade Boggs?

[jpiehl]

"There is no perfect balance" That's what we're trying to tell you........ ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT!!! Quite telling people they're doing it all wrong when you have no clue of their situation.

I bet you'll read your own book over, and over.

Bo, how would you know all kids are different? Aren't they different but really the same? We know the parents are the same and all have the same agenda if their kids play a sport more than the average kid and the parents encourage and support them to be the best they can be. And we also know that most parents have no clue how to help their kids deal with adversity and failure so that if the inevitable shoe drops, and they don't get that $5M contract 10 years from now, they will be crushed and hate the parents forever. We know that this is a vicious cycle, that everyone whose kid seems to like to play the sport and likes practices and getting better, and not just play fun games, is subject to. Its a box that fits most of us. Stop rocking the boat! It's how it is and that's final!!

As with most good discussions on this board, the value ends when a nerve is struck, and the sarcasm starts. Who is it that you are trying to defend with your posts? If it doesn't happen and these situtaions don't exist, why the sarcastic rebuttal?

Not that I really care, but I just had to respond to that classic attempt to end a disagreement. Either people say nothing, and what you say is true because of that, or it 'strikes a nerve' and they criticize your position, and that is the proof that what you say is true. Either way it supposedly proves that your theory is correct. And as an educator you should understand the problem with trying to prove your arguement with a sweeping generalization, you can never prove that what you are holding up applies to every kid, but the generalization can be dismissed with one kid that shows it to be incorrect. I will supply that player now: Patrick Kane. Doesn't appear to have burned out despite his father's pushing. There are many, many others, but only one is required to disprove a sweeping generalization.

[Trash Hauler]

Bo, how would you know all kids are different? Aren't they different but really the same? We know the parents are the same and all have the same agenda if their kids play a sport more than the average kid and the parents encourage and support them to be the best they can be. And we also know that most parents have no clue how to help their kids deal with adversity and failure so that if the inevitable shoe drops, and they don't get that $5M contract 10 years from now, they will be crushed and hate the parents forever. We know that this is a vicious cycle, that everyone whose kid seems to like to play the sport and likes practices and getting better, and not just play fun games, is subject to. Its a box that fits most of us. Stop rocking the boat! It's how it is and that's final!!

As with most good discussions on this board, the value ends when a nerve is struck, and the sarcasm starts. Who is it that you are trying to defend with your posts? If it doesn't happen and these situtaions don't exist, why the sarcastic rebuttal?

Not that I really care, but I just had to respond to that classic attempt to end a disagreement. Either people say nothing, and what you say is true because of that, or it 'strikes a nerve' and they criticize your position, and that is the proof that what you say is true. Either way it supposedly proves that your theory is correct. And as an educator you should understand the problem with trying to prove your arguement with a sweeping generalization, you can never prove that what you are holding up applies to every kid, but the generalization can be dismissed with one kid that shows it to be incorrect. I will supply that player now: Patrick Kane. Doesn't appear to have burned out despite his father's pushing. There are many, many others, but only one is required to disprove a sweeping generalization.

My goal is to create awareness on the topic. Often, one needs to take a strong stance in order to do that. Not once, have I made any accusation regarding any particular individual and I don't intend to. Not once have I proposed that these theories apply to all. I have no need to prove my theory, so I will name no individual in any attempt to prove it. If Patrick Kane proves it wrong, parents of other children, gifted or not, certainly are free to follow that path. The strong language and cursing in some responses does not bother or offend me. It enlightens me.

[Napalm187]

You are a shining light to us all Trash! Keep fightin' the good fight! Let those boo-birds give you strength. You are the master of your domain.

[Trash Hauler]

One need look no further than the "Brick" thread for a sampling, albeit small.

By the way, 3 out of 4 of my kids participate in off season hockey in one form or another. I have never said I thought it was inherently bad. I'm not too impressed with what it has become though.

[flpucknut]

@TH - I totally agree. I originally came to this site to find some information, and can't believe the bickering, arguing, accusations and assumptions that are made here about children.

I think many people that are on this board have "good players" obviously some better than others but you are inherently more interested in something that your son or daughter excels at rather than something they obviously have no talent in. The temptation to gain the edge, wear the sweatshirt, post the decal on the SUV are real, and I can see how one can get wrapped up in it.

Plain and simple these are kids. Hopefully they love playing hockey because they enjoy the game, the competition, the friendships and memories they will make. Many say "I want to be a player in the NHL" but do any of them really know what that even means at age 10,12, 14? I doubt it.

I hope that parents are encouraging their kids to play hockey for the same reasons they love it, not for reasons they haven't even thought about yet.

Is my son elite? No. He's a pretty darn good player that loves the game, loves the competition and (I hope) enjoys the time that it allows us to spend time together as father and son, and I couldn't be happier about it.

[MrBoDangles]

@TH - I totally agree. I originally came to this site to find some information, and can't believe the bickering, arguing, accusations and assumptions that are made here about children.

I think many people that are on this board have "good players" obviously some better than others but you are inherently more interested in something that your son or daughter excels at rather than something they obviously have no talent in. The temptation to gain the edge, wear the sweatshirt, post the decal on the SUV are real, and I can see how one can get wrapped up in it.

Plain and simple these are kids. Hopefully they love playing hockey because they enjoy the game, the competition, the friendships and memories they will make. Many say "I want to be a player in the NHL" but do any of them really know what that even means at age 10,12, 14? I doubt it.

I hope that parents are encouraging their kids to play hockey for the same reasons they love it, not for reasons they haven't even thought about yet.

Is my son elite? No. He's a pretty darn good player that loves the game, loves the competition and (I hope) enjoys the time that it allows us to spend time together as father and son, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Don't buy into the propaganda. It's always the same type of guy trying to bash people for having their kids on the ice for another 60 petty hrs for a Summer team. You know they would jump at the same thing if it happened to be free, or if the rink happened to be right next door.. or their kid happened to be very talented.

Don't you find it funny, when we take the time to stop and think about it, that they take all this time to bash such a petty thing? Wouldn't they be better off going on a video game forum to warn kids/parents that they're wasting their lives away playing video games 60hrs a WEEK?

Instead, they come on here to bash because of selfish reasons.

-BadgerBob(He's a true badger) has his kid skate in a ST program. I'm sure there's guys out there that will call him nuts for letting his kid(s) put on the skates in the Summer.

[Trash Hauler]

@TH - I totally agree. I originally came to this site to find some information, and can't believe the bickering, arguing, accusations and assumptions that are made here about children.

I think many people that are on this board have "good players" obviously some better than others but you are inherently more interested in something that your son or daughter excels at rather than something they obviously have no talent in. The temptation to gain the edge, wear the sweatshirt, post the decal on the SUV are real, and I can see how one can get wrapped up in it.

Plain and simple these are kids. Hopefully they love playing hockey because they enjoy the game, the competition, the friendships and memories they will make. Many say "I want to be a player in the NHL" but do any of them really know what that even means at age 10,12, 14? I doubt it.

I hope that parents are encouraging their kids to play hockey for the same reasons they love it, not for reasons they haven't even thought about yet.

Is my son elite? No. He's a pretty darn good player that loves the game, loves the competition and (I hope) enjoys the time that it allows us to spend time together as father and son, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Don't buy into the propaganda. It's always the same type of guy trying to bash people for having their kids on the ice for another 60 petty hrs for a Summer team. You know they would jump at the same thing if it happened to be free, or if the rink happened to be right next door.. or their kid happened to be very talented.

Don't you find it funny, when we take the time to stop and think about it, that they take all this time to bash such a petty thing? Wouldn't they be better off going on a video game forum to warn kids/parents that they're wasting their lives away playing video games 60hrs a WEEK?

Instead, they come on here to bash because of selfish reasons.

-BadgerBob(He's a true badger) has his kid skate in a ST program. I'm sure there's guys out there that will call him nuts for letting his kid(s) put on the skates in the Summer.

You must read every 5th post or so. I can't understand how one can determine that a post, speaking to no one in particular except the readers in general, is directed toward them (this one is directed to you, among others), or judemental of them individually and personally. What could compel someone to take my opinions as personal attacks or bashing of you? Please tell me you don't understand my postion to be that all summer hockey is bad, or that playing summer hockey in and of itself defines a child or their parents.......I've spent way too much time here to be misunderstood that deeply. Now if I dedicate my book to you, then you can take it personally.

[MrBoDangles]

I'm sure everyone can recite studies both ways. At the end of the day, kids will burn out because they can't compete at the sport they love or if they don't love the sport and are being pushed to play it. Summer hockey is not for every kid and I think the only kids that will get a lot out of it both from the standpoint of fun and for the standpoint of accelerated development are those that love it and are doing it because they want to. Is that 20% of the summer hockey players? 50%? More? Who knows. I know a lot of kids over the years that really love playing hockey year round whether it is on the ice, ball hockey or whatever. They do accelerate and pass up their peers in the fall because they play and practice with passion. Other than working hard and thinking big another great life lesson that we have all been told at one time or another is to do what you love. And if your kid is doing that, there is really no amount of hockey/fishing/baseball/golf that will burn him out. And if they love it they will get better. The one's that are going through the motions will not get better or only marginally.

Lots of people try to impose their ideas based on their own experience or in the case of this thread, what level of interest their kid has in the game and if they aren't head over heels into the sport, they think other kids shouldn't do it. Every kid is different and imo every kid should be encouraged to work hard and dream big at whatever they love to do. And some people think that you should just relax sit back and enjoy people and not get worked up about anything. That's fine too. To each their own.

I love coaching hockey and teaching young adults more than anything. It's been my lifes passion for many years now. At the end of each season I'm a bit burnt out, and need a break. Should I look for another passion that doesn't burn me out when I give it everything I've got or should I find more summer opportunities to do what I love? I know if I did I would not come back in the fall with the passion the job deserves. Maybe that's just me.

Yes, look for another passion that doesn't burn YOU out.

Yes, take a break if YOU feel you need it.

Maybe, just maybe, other people don't need a break and have a TRUE passion.

I "love" to fish. I keep looking for more "oppportunities" to fish(54 walleyes for 3 of us on Miile Lacs Tues ) because it's my true "passion". I'M NEVER ABLE TO GET ENOUGH.

Yes, it probably is "JUST YOU". Are you able to understand that? And that others are not you....? And that others are able to put a few hours in over the Summer(before "Fall") and keep their passion?

Read your own posts, I did!

I won't charge you for this lesson...

[Trash Hauler]

I'm sure everyone can recite studies both ways. At the end of the day, kids will burn out because they can't compete at the sport they love or if they don't love the sport and are being pushed to play it. Summer hockey is not for every kid and I think the only kids that will get a lot out of it both from the standpoint of fun and for the standpoint of accelerated development are those that love it and are doing it because they want to. Is that 20% of the summer hockey players? 50%? More? Who knows. I know a lot of kids over the years that really love playing hockey year round whether it is on the ice, ball hockey or whatever. They do accelerate and pass up their peers in the fall because they play and practice with passion. Other than working hard and thinking big another great life lesson that we have all been told at one time or another is to do what you love. And if your kid is doing that, there is really no amount of hockey/fishing/baseball/golf that will burn him out. And if they love it they will get better. The one's that are going through the motions will not get better or only marginally.

Lots of people try to impose their ideas based on their own experience or in the case of this thread, what level of interest their kid has in the game and if they aren't head over heels into the sport, they think other kids shouldn't do it. Every kid is different and imo every kid should be encouraged to work hard and dream big at whatever they love to do. And some people think that you should just relax sit back and enjoy people and not get worked up about anything. That's fine too. To each their own.

I love coaching hockey and teaching young adults more than anything. It's been my lifes passion for many years now. At the end of each season I'm a bit burnt out, and need a break. Should I look for another passion that doesn't burn me out when I give it everything I've got or should I find more summer opportunities to do what I love? I know if I did I would not come back in the fall with the passion the job deserves. Maybe that's just me.

Yes, look for another passion that doesn't burn YOU out.

Yes, take a break if YOU feel you need it.

Maybe, just maybe, other people don't need a break and have a TRUE passion.

I "love" to fish. I keep looking for more "oppportunities" to fish(54 walleyes for 3 of us on Miile Lacs Tues ) because it's my true "passion". I'M NEVER ABLE TO GET ENOUGH.

Yes, it probably is "JUST YOU". Are you able to understand that? And that others are not you....? And that others are able to put a few hours in over the Summer(before "Fall") and keep their passion?

Read your own posts, I did!

I won't charge you for this lesson...

Huh? Oh, did you take from that post that I think no one should play summer hockey? Really don"t think I should have to explain, that was not the meaning. I would, but I would have to charge for the lesson.

Well, here it is for free. When a young child is labled as "elite" in anything. Athletics, the fine arts, academics, etc. There is a danger of taking the training too far, as to minimize the possibiliy that child will reach their full potential. There is extensive resarch on the subject, this is not drawn on my casual observations and experiences, although my own observations do support most of the research. I'm sorry to realize I could have summed up all my posts with this statement. Best of luck in your summer hockey endevors. May the most elite players have no one comparable to compete against. I'm sure I'll be there with ya, relaxing (I dont' want to burn out) while no adult screams at the game officials, no one complains about ice time, no one complains or brags about what team their child is on, as everyone is simply, happliy, giving their kids what they want. Nothing more, nothing less.

[This is nuts!]

I love coaching hockey and teaching young adults more than anything. It's been my lifes passion for many years now. At the end of each season I'm a bit burnt out, and need a break. Should I look for another passion that doesn't burn me out when I give it everything I've got or should I find more summer opportunities to do what I love? I know if I did I would not come back in the fall with the passion the job deserves. Maybe that's just me.

Yes, look for another passion that doesn't burn YOU out.

Yes, take a break if YOU feel you need it.

Maybe, just maybe, other people don't need a break and have a TRUE passion.

I "love" to fish. I keep looking for more "oppportunities" to fish(54 walleyes for 3 of us on Miile Lacs Tues ) because it's my true "passion". I'M NEVER ABLE TO GET ENOUGH.

Yes, it probably is "JUST YOU". Are you able to understand that? And that others are not you....? And that others are able to put a few hours in over the Summer(before "Fall") and keep their passion?

Read your own posts, I did!

I won't charge you for this lesson...

Huh? Oh, did you take from that post that I think no one should play summer hockey? Really don"t think I should have to explain, that was not the meaning. I would, but I would have to charge for the lesson.

Well, here it is for free. When a young child is labled as "elite" in anything. Athletics, the fine arts, adacemics, etc. There is a danger of taking the training too far, as to minimize the possibiliy that child will reach their full potential. There is extensive resarch on the subject, this is not drawn on my casual observations and experiences, although my own observations do support most of the research. I'm sorry to realize I could have summed up all my posts with this statement. Best of luck in your summer hockey endevors. May the most elite players have no one comparable to compete against. I'm sure I'll be there with ya, relaxing (I dont' want to burn out) while no adult screams at the game officials, no one complains about ice time, no one complains or brags about what team their child is on, as everyone is simply, happliy, giving their kids what they want. Nothing more, nothing less.

Trash, we see your point. Your not seeing ours. If you are talking about young players labeled " elite". You are taking about 1 percent of all hockey players. Most of us are talking about above average players, good and very good players.

You speak of this large Group of parents that are "at the edge" or " approaching the edge " of being fanatical parents. These IMO are the group of parents that are actually trying to find the right BALANCE for their child. Maybe at times encouraging them to give their best and times pulling back the reigns when they need a break.

You need to keep a open mind that parents are doing their best to do what's best for their child. Because they are all different.

You seem to want to Monday morning quarterback parents choices that may have been he right ones the time. Things change as kids get older.

Trust me Trash, keeping sports out of this, when my kids move out I m going to want many "do overs" I m not always going to make all he right decisions. But at that time i believed they were the right decisions. As parents we try do the best for our kids in present. You can't look into the crystal ball and try to see what the future brings..

Try to keep an open mind...

[MNM JMH]

Lock this up. It old now.

[Trash Hauler]

Yes, look for another passion that doesn't burn YOU out.

Yes, take a break if YOU feel you need it.

Maybe, just maybe, other people don't need a break and have a TRUE passion.

I "love" to fish. I keep looking for more "oppportunities" to fish(54 walleyes for 3 of us on Miile Lacs Tues ) because it's my true "passion". I'M NEVER ABLE TO GET ENOUGH.

Yes, it probably is "JUST YOU". Are you able to understand that? And that others are not you....? And that others are able to put a few hours in over the Summer(before "Fall") and keep their passion?

Read your own posts, I did!

I won't charge you for this lesson...

Huh? Oh, did you take from that post that I think no one should play summer hockey? Really don"t think I should have to explain, that was not the meaning. I would, but I would have to charge for the lesson.

Well, here it is for free. When a young child is labled as "elite" in anything. Athletics, the fine arts, adacemics, etc. There is a danger of taking the training too far, as to minimize the possibiliy that child will reach their full potential. There is extensive resarch on the subject, this is not drawn on my casual observations and experiences, although my own observations do support most of the research. I'm sorry to realize I could have summed up all my posts with this statement. Best of luck in your summer hockey endevors. May the most elite players have no one comparable to compete against. I'm sure I'll be there with ya, relaxing (I dont' want to burn out) while no adult screams at the game officials, no one complains about ice time, no one complains or brags about what team their child is on, as everyone is simply, happliy, giving their kids what they want. Nothing more, nothing less.

Trash, we see your point. Your not seeing ours. If you are talking about young players labeled " elite". You are taking about 1 percent of all hockey players. Most of us are talking about above average players, good and very good players.

You speak of this large Group of parents that are "at the edge" or " approaching the edge " of being fanatical parents. These IMO are the group of parents that are actually trying to find the right BALANCE for their child. Maybe at times encouraging them to give their best and times pulling back the reigns when they need a break.

You need to keep a open mind that parents are doing their best to do what's best for their child. Because they are all different.

You seem to want to Monday morning quarterback parents choices that may have been he right ones the time. Things change as kids get older.

Trust me Trash, keeping sports out of this, when my kids move out I m going to want many "do overs" I m not always going to make all he right decisions. But at that time i believed they were the right decisions. As parents we try do the best for our kids in present. You can't look into the crystal ball and try to see what the future brings..

Try to keep an open mind...

Great response.

You are absolutely right that virtually all parents, maybe even all parents, are doing the best they can, and doing what they feel is best for their kids at any given moment. Do I sound like the mother in law telling the new mother how much to feed the baby. I'm sure I do. Am I implying that every parent satisfies their baby with too much food? I don't mean to. And, like the busy body mother in law, I'm sure the new mother will do whatever they think is right at the moment. It may be right for them at that given moment. It's simply food for thought in a time when I spend an enormous amount of time, because it's my job, watching parents in the stands. Watching them after a game. Telling a kid they don't deserve a ride home after how they played. Seeing kids grow up with only "artificial support" from their parents. The phrase "good game son" is so often followed with a "but, you could work a little harder in the corners", etc. Does this apply to all parents, certainly not. Does it apply to way too many? I think it does. Do kids that play summer hockey have crazy parents? Some do, some do not. The same applies to winter only players, soccer players, basketball players, and students. Food for thought and creating awareness. If I have touched one parent and provided some awareness to the POSSIBLE pitfalls, I feel good.

By the way, go to a youth hockey game sometime and do nothing more than watch the parents behavior in the stands. Sometimes it's spectacular and comendable. sometimes it's outright shameful. Rarely is there just one parent out of control, it generally turns into a mob mentality. On a regular basis, I do go to hockey games with the sole purpose of watching parents. Not for some sick twisted reason, but because it's what I'm supposed to do. No kid playing that I am partial to, don't know anyone on the ice, no interest in the game itself. Really, just focus on the fans and not the game and see what you see. I think you will not always, but often be surprised. Maybe even walk up to the mom or dad with the red face and the heart about to burst and and strike up a friendly conversation. You may be doing a kid a favor. This post is directed at no forum member in particular.

[MrBoDangles]

I love coaching hockey and teaching young adults more than anything. It's been my lifes passion for many years now. At the end of each season I'm a bit burnt out, and need a break. Should I look for another passion that doesn't burn me out when I give it everything I've got or should I find more summer opportunities to do what I love? I know if I did I would not come back in the fall with the passion the job deserves. Maybe that's just me.

Yes, look for another passion that doesn't burn YOU out.

Yes, take a break if YOU feel you need it.

Maybe, just maybe, other people don't need a break and have a TRUE passion.

I "love" to fish. I keep looking for more "oppportunities" to fish(54 walleyes for 3 of us on Miile Lacs Tues ) because it's my true "passion". I'M NEVER ABLE TO GET ENOUGH.

Yes, it probably is "JUST YOU". Are you able to understand that? And that others are not you....? And that others are able to put a few hours in over the Summer(before "Fall") and keep their passion?

Read your own posts, I did!

I won't charge you for this lesson...

Huh? Oh, did you take from that post that I think no one should play summer hockey? Really don"t think I should have to explain, that was not the meaning. I would, but I would have to charge for the lesson.

Well, here it is for free. When a young child is labled as "elite" in anything. Athletics, the fine arts, academics, etc. There is a danger of taking the training too far, as to minimize the possibiliy that child will reach their full potential. There is extensive resarch on the subject, this is not drawn on my casual observations and experiences, although my own observations do support most of the research. I'm sorry to realize I could have summed up all my posts with this statement. Best of luck in your summer hockey endevors. May the most elite players have no one comparable to compete against. I'm sure I'll be there with ya, relaxing (I dont' want to burn out) while no adult screams at the game officials, no one complains about ice time, no one complains or brags about what team their child is on, as everyone is simply, happliy, giving their kids what they want. Nothing more, nothing less.

Huh? Are you trying to say I can't drink coffee at the rink?

Wow! You're getting out there.....

[MrBoDangles]

Huh? Oh, did you take from that post that I think no one should play summer hockey? Really don"t think I should have to explain, that was not the meaning. I would, but I would have to charge for the lesson.

Well, here it is for free. When a young child is labled as "elite" in anything. Athletics, the fine arts, adacemics, etc. There is a danger of taking the training too far, as to minimize the possibiliy that child will reach their full potential. There is extensive resarch on the subject, this is not drawn on my casual observations and experiences, although my own observations do support most of the research. I'm sorry to realize I could have summed up all my posts with this statement. Best of luck in your summer hockey endevors. May the most elite players have no one comparable to compete against. I'm sure I'll be there with ya, relaxing (I dont' want to burn out) while no adult screams at the game officials, no one complains about ice time, no one complains or brags about what team their child is on, as everyone is simply, happliy, giving their kids what they want. Nothing more, nothing less.

Trash, we see your point. Your not seeing ours. If you are talking about young players labeled " elite". You are taking about 1 percent of all hockey players. Most of us are talking about above average players, good and very good players.

You speak of this large Group of parents that are "at the edge" or " approaching the edge " of being fanatical parents. These IMO are the group of parents that are actually trying to find the right BALANCE for their child. Maybe at times encouraging them to give their best and times pulling back the reigns when they need a break.

You need to keep a open mind that parents are doing their best to do what's best for their child. Because they are all different.

You seem to want to Monday morning quarterback parents choices that may have been he right ones the time. Things change as kids get older.

Trust me Trash, keeping sports out of this, when my kids move out I m going to want many "do overs" I m not always going to make all he right decisions. But at that time i believed they were the right decisions. As parents we try do the best for our kids in present. You can't look into the crystal ball and try to see what the future brings..

Try to keep an open mind...

Great response.

You are absolutely right that virtually all parents, maybe even all parents, are doing the best they can, and doing what they feel is best for their kids at any given moment. Do I sound like the mother in law telling the new mother how much to feed the baby. I'm sure I do. Am I implying that every parent satisfies their baby with too much food? I don't mean to. And, like the busy body mother in law, I'm sure the new mother will do whatever they think is right at the moment. It may be right for them at that given moment. It's simply food for thought in a time when I spend an enormous amount of time, because it's my job, watching parents in the stands. Watching them after a game. Telling a kid they don't deserve a ride home after how they played. Seeing kids grow up with only "artificial support" from their parents. The phrase "good game son" is so often followed with a "but, you could work a little harder in the corners", etc. Does this apply to all parents, certainly not. Does it apply to way too many? I think it does. Do kids that play summer hockey have crazy parents? Some do, some do not. The same applies to winter only players, soccer players, basketball players, and students. Food for thought and creating awareness. If I have touched one parent and provided some awareness to the POSSIBLE pitfalls, I feel good.

By the way, go to a youth hockey game sometime and do nothing more than watch the parents behavior in the stands. Sometimes it's spectacular and comendable. sometimes it's outright shameful. Rarely is there just one parent out of control, it generally turns into a mob mentality. On a regular basis, I do go to hockey games with the sole purpose of watching parents. Not for some sick twisted reason, but because it's what I'm supposed to do. No kid playing that I am partial to, don't know anyone on the ice, no interest in the game itself. Really, just focus on the fans and not the game and see what you see. I think you will not always, but often be surprised. Maybe even walk up to the mom or dad with the red face and the heart about to burst and and strike up a friendly conversation. You may be doing a kid a favor. This post is directed at no forum member in particular.

What way are we going now? We're off of too much Hockey in the Summer?

I like your post..... but also think it's common knowledge in all aspects of life.

[Trash Hauler]

Trash, we see your point. Your not seeing ours. If you are talking about young players labeled " elite". You are taking about 1 percent of all hockey players. Most of us are talking about above average players, good and very good players.

You speak of this large Group of parents that are "at the edge" or " approaching the edge " of being fanatical parents. These IMO are the group of parents that are actually trying to find the right BALANCE for their child. Maybe at times encouraging them to give their best and times pulling back the reigns when they need a break.

You need to keep a open mind that parents are doing their best to do what's best for their child. Because they are all different.

You seem to want to Monday morning quarterback parents choices that may have been he right ones the time. Things change as kids get older.

Trust me Trash, keeping sports out of this, when my kids move out I m going to want many "do overs" I m not always going to make all he right decisions. But at that time i believed they were the right decisions. As parents we try do the best for our kids in present. You can't look into the crystal ball and try to see what the future brings..

Try to keep an open mind...

Great response.

You are absolutely right that virtually all parents, maybe even all parents, are doing the best they can, and doing what they feel is best for their kids at any given moment. Do I sound like the mother in law telling the new mother how much to feed the baby. I'm sure I do. Am I implying that every parent satisfies their baby with too much food? I don't mean to. And, like the busy body mother in law, I'm sure the new mother will do whatever they think is right at the moment. It may be right for them at that given moment. It's simply food for thought in a time when I spend an enormous amount of time, because it's my job, watching parents in the stands. Watching them after a game. Telling a kid they don't deserve a ride home after how they played. Seeing kids grow up with only "artificial support" from their parents. The phrase "good game son" is so often followed with a "but, you could work a little harder in the corners", etc. Does this apply to all parents, certainly not. Does it apply to way too many? I think it does. Do kids that play summer hockey have crazy parents? Some do, some do not. The same applies to winter only players, soccer players, basketball players, and students. Food for thought and creating awareness. If I have touched one parent and provided some awareness to the POSSIBLE pitfalls, I feel good.

By the way, go to a youth hockey game sometime and do nothing more than watch the parents behavior in the stands. Sometimes it's spectacular and comendable. sometimes it's outright shameful. Rarely is there just one parent out of control, it generally turns into a mob mentality. On a regular basis, I do go to hockey games with the sole purpose of watching parents. Not for some sick twisted reason, but because it's what I'm supposed to do. No kid playing that I am partial to, don't know anyone on the ice, no interest in the game itself. Really, just focus on the fans and not the game and see what you see. I think you will not always, but often be surprised. Maybe even walk up to the mom or dad with the red face and the heart about to burst and and strike up a friendly conversation. You may be doing a kid a favor. This post is directed at no forum member in particular.

What way are we going now? We're off of too much Hockey in the Summer?

I like your post..... but also think it's common knowledge in all aspects of life.

My focus was the effects of labeling a young child elite, not too much hockey in the summer. They somtimes, but not always go hand in hand. I'll try to stay on track, but I wanted to make it interesting since the boozer is calling for it to be locked (yep, that was a personal attack on the creeper) Hard to focus with the Cup on the line.

[O-townClown]

Trash:

What am I supposed to do?

My son is 10 and he enjoys hockey. In his life he's been registered for tae kwon do, basketball, soccer, lacrosse, flag football, and probably some team sports I'm forgetting. He's skateboarded, played golf, and really likes tennis. He keeps coming back to hockey.

Seasons are six-months long, but when this one ended he just wanted to play more. Disappointed the structure in all youth sports, I regularly seek unstructured playing opportunities like Skate n' Shoot and low level Spring games. He has many healthy friendships with kids at the rink.

It's pretty easy to say parents in the stands are crazy. That's not really helping me. I've read almost every book about youth sports and I routinely speak with the parents of older kids in the same boat. Plus I watch what goes on and I reflect back on my own experiences and how they have affected me into adulthood.

[Trash Hauler]

Keep doing what you are doing. Think, reflect, support. Keep your head about it.

[Napalm187]

Trash- What do you do? Are you a sociologist? Social worker? Of course their are crazies in the stands. Ever been to a youth baseball game? Youth football game? It's just the way it is. People can come up with white papers, studies and all sorts of stats...but people are still going to be yelling, having unrealistic expectations with their kids and not acting with logic or reason. I don't say a or make any noise. They can't hear you or they shouldn't be able to hear you. Maybe an occasional yell of "move your feet" is ok. I've seen for 30 years all sorts of crazy, but most people are fine. But their is a sizable minority of stupid people in this country. It is what it is. On a bad day, you could say 80% of the population is brain-dead. Ever been on 494? My point, why all this arm-chair analysis for a very easy topic to read and analyze? Not everyone is a genteel, logical person. In fact, most people are the opposite. Pugnacious, rude, narrow-minded, myopic and they base everything off their own experiences, instead of being able to put themselves in the shoes of others to see different points of view.

The elite minds and bodies of yesteryear were all "pushed" at a young age. Da Vinci, Mozart, FDR, JFK, Lemieux, Babe Ruth, MJ, Monet, John Tavares...etc. etc. if you find a kid with "elite" talent in any endevour...they should get the most outta that talent as possible.

Like Bobby DeNiro said in "A Bronx Tale"...."The worst thing in life son, is wasted talent".

[O-townClown]

Keep doing what you are doing. Think, reflect, support. Keep your head about it.

Thanks for the support and encouragement, but I do want to mention that I believe I am the norm. When I speak with parents, they all seem to have the same concern about doing what is right.

It's awfully easy to make trite statements about parents that think their kid is going to the NHL, but I seldom have met people that actually feel that way.

[SnowedIn]

Trash- What do you do? Are you a sociologist? Social worker? Of course their are crazies in the stands. Ever been to a youth baseball game? Youth football game? It's just the way it is. People can come up with white papers, studies and all sorts of stats...but people are still going to be yelling, having unrealistic expectations with their kids and not acting with logic or reason. I don't say a or make any noise. They can't hear you or they shouldn't be able to hear you. Maybe an occasional yell of "move your feet" is ok. I've seen for 30 years all sorts of crazy, but most people are fine. But their is a sizable minority of stupid people in this country. It is what it is. On a bad day, you could say 80% of the population is brain-dead. Ever been on 494? My point, why all this arm-chair analysis for a very easy topic to read and analyze? Not everyone is a genteel, logical person. In fact, most people are the opposite. Pugnacious, rude, narrow-minded, myopic and they base everything off their own experiences, instead of being able to put themselves in the shoes of others to see different points of view.

The elite minds and bodies of yesteryear were all "pushed" at a young age. Da Vinci, Mozart, FDR, JFK, Lemieux, Babe Ruth, MJ, Monet, John Tavares...etc. etc. if you find a kid with "elite" talent in any endevour...they should get the most outta that talent as possible.

Like Bobby DeNiro said in "A Bronx Tale"...."The worst thing in life son, is wasted talent".

Nicely said

[MrBoDangles]

Trash, here's a video I was involved in making a few years back. That's me doing the commentary.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zb7mkuVavgQ

Who wudda thunk we were on the same page the whole time....?